I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees.
Jake Taylor
Hell of a situation we got here. Two on, two out, your team down a run and you've got the chance to be the hero on national television... if you don't blow it. Saw your wife at the Capri Lounge last night. Hell of a dancer. You should be proud. Oh, and that guy she was with? I'm sure he's a close personal friend, but tell me, what was he doing with her panties on his head? Uh-oh, Rexie, I don't think this one's got the distance.
Jake Taylor
Second base... shit.
Jake Taylor
The American Express Card. Don't steal home without it.
Willie Mays Hays
Willie Mays Hayes. I hit like Mays, and I run like Hayes.
Willie Mays Hays
Don't you guys go anywhere. I plan to put on a hitting display.
Willie Mays Hays
Cerrano's looking for some extra power for tonight. He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken. Man, we can't have people puking in the locker room before the game!
Willie Mays Hays
We should've got the live chicken.
Willie Mays Hays
In case you haven't noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven't, the Indians have managed to win a few here and there, and are threatening to climb out of the cellar.
Harry Doyle
Juuust a bit outside. He tried the corner and missed.
Harry Doyle
Ball four...ball eight...and Vaughn has walked the bases loaded on 12 consecutive pitches. How can these guys lay off pitches that close??
Harry Doyle
Remember, fans, Tuesday is Die Hard Night. Free admission for anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won the pennant.
Harry Doyle
The post-game show is brought to you by... Christ, I can't find it. To hell with it.
Harry Doyle
Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.
Harry Doyle
This guy threw at his own kid in a father/son game.
Harry Doyle